Before You Lose Your Man to a Femme Fatale (For the Engaged Ladies)

I love to be gentle and tender most times. But for this matter, I need to be severe with you a bit.

You’ve been crying and whining about how one “useless” girl wants to snatch your man. I’m so sorry about that, really sorry. But then I need to talk to you. You see, real maturity lies in balance. Sometimes, being a good girl or nice woman is not enough. This life is deep, and I think it got deeper since this 21st century began. You need salt and spice.  You added salt, you kept spice in your kitchen cabinet!

That’s where your problem lies

Let me ask you this: When was the last time he really looked forward to seeing you? I mean the last time, you could feel the excitement in his voice. You have become the same yesterday, today and forever. Only God has that powerful repute, simply because He doesn’t live in time. And you’re contesting for that seat?!


Your dress sense has not changed. Your finesse is still in the trash can. No added skills. He can’t engage you in an interesting discussion for a long time. You’re not really thinking about anything except ‘to settle down’. You’re so frigid. And you’re complaining!

See, he’s not looking for a perfect babe. He’d be unfair to do that, he’s not perfect too. But he needs to see some positive change. You know what I mean? An evolving you! He shouldn’t have an inkling of what’s coming next. And that takes some effort. See, my friend, a successful guy is an endangered species. All those folks who were never in the kitchen want to sit at the dining and eat the food (I really hope you were at the kitchen). Some of them would impersonate the chef. That is life for you! You cannot afford to be flabby, flaccid and lax. You will pay through your nose!

Did you know that successful guys are endangered species? Click To Tweet

Let me give you some hints.

It’s time for spice and this is where to start.


Keep for him what he doesn’t need now – your body! Don’t give him sex, whether with your clothes on or off

If you’ve started, stop now. Believe me, he will look forward to the day of “official commissioning”.Get his ring first, okay?

He’d respect you, he might be angry for a while but he’d boast about you later on. Wise guys will do that…. and I hope you have one. And if he wants to leave on account of that, free him! You deserve a better guy!

Now to some more spice. Step up your game, be an avid learner and observer. Understand his design and leverage on it. Men like to show off, whether they admit it or not. So, can he boast about you?

Apart from your degree, what else do you have? A good dress sense? Communication skills? Relational skills? (especially with his family and those he respects). What does your room look like? Is it always “under construction”. Your fragrances are key, select carefully. Have a unique fragrance( ask your girlfriends, they’d tell you how to combine).

When you meet is important too, make sure you plan for it but don’t pretend (you know he’d soon marry you and find out). Plan for it, don’t be a universal recipient. Have something to offer -gift, good gist, nice food, your attention, good looks (I’ve said this a lot, right?). But don’t seduce him now, that comes much later- when you’ve got the wedding ring. Attractiveness is okay, and it takes some maturity to draw the line (that’s why you should be observant). And welcome him well. Hug him, except it’s contraindicated in your relationship (I understand we have different beliefs and I respect that).

'Settle down with my husband' is not an investment! It's bad business! Click To Tweet

Your content too should be solid, packaging is not enough. Make sure you’re really a part of his life. If you can get a man to be really vulnerable with you, that’s thumbs up for you. Men bleed too and you have to be a nurse in those dark days (ask more matured women, they’d educate you). Have content, something he can invest in. “Settle down with my husband” is not an investment! It’s bad business! I would not advice a friend to go for that, I won’t even touch that with a stick myself!

Be vast, honour him and be interested in things that he loves to engage. Don’t put yourself in the place of a rival, fighting him over a femme fatale. You’d soon become a rival if that continues. But express your concerns. Emotional openness is critical, don’t hold back your soul. If there’s something in your past that makes you hold back, find the RIGHT time to tell him. If you continue that way, he might think you’re hiding something when you’re not.

My dear friend, too many things to say, but go and work on this for now.

And get your man!!!

Chai, how did I forget this! (maybe because it’s more than spice)

You need to pray o, prayer does some real stuff

You’d find out when you start

You should be mad at me by now, but SHARE THIS, you’d be happy I told you when he starts responding to treatment





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